Chapter Thirty Four: His Saving Grace
“How’re you doing?” Jake asks Peyton through the phone while trying to feed Ellie at the same time.
“Okay, I guess,” Peyton answers, leaning against the wall by the payphone. “It was hard seeing and talking to Brooke and having her not able to talk back, but at least we can see her now. And we can talk to her and hope she hears us and wakes up soon.”
“Definitely,” Jake agrees, setting the bowl of macaroni and cheese on the table, away from Ellie’s reach in the high chair.
“How are the kids?” Peyton asks.
“They’re good. Ellie has a little cold, but it’s nothing serious. And Jenny called to check in with everything. She said she’ll be coming home with Tyler next week so she’ll be home for Christmas.”
“Good…we all really need our family right now. Well, as soon as we know what’s going to happen with Brooke and the baby, we’ll probably head home. But I should go before the time runs out.”
“Okay, hun. I love you.”
“I love you too. Give the kids a kiss for me.”
“I will. Bye, babe,” Jake says before clicking off the phone.
Peyton hangs up the phone as the elevator doors open and Lucas walks off. She notices him as he looks at her.
“Lucas!” She says as she hugs him.
He hugs her back as she says, “We’ve all been so worried about you. Where did you go?”
Peyton stares at him as she waits for his response.
“I, um…I needed to get some frustrations out, so I went to see Dan.”
Peyton nods and says, “Yep…definitely where I would’ve gone too.”
“So… have you gone in? Have you seen her yet?”
“Yeah…it was hard, but it was something I needed to do. You need to too, Luke. Brooke needs you to.”
Lucas nods and says, “I know, and I will, but…I think I need to go see the baby first.”
“Okay.”
“Will you come with me?”
“Of course,” Peyton agrees, looping her arm in his as Keith, Rob, Nathan, Haley and James walk up.
“We’ll all come with you, Luke,” Keith says.
“We were wondering when you’d be back,” Haley says. “I knew you wouldn’t just abandon them.”
“Of course not,” Lucas says. “I just…there was something I needed to go do, someone I needed to punch. But I’m ready to do this now.”
“Then, let’s do it,” Nathan says. “We’re here for you, Luke…all the way.”
Lucas nods and with half his family beside him, begins down the hall for the Neonatal ICU.
OTHOTHOOTHOTHOTOHOTHOTOHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTOTOOTHOTH
The nurse said not everyone could go in with him when they reached the NICU. And they only allow family inside, though Lucas told her everyone with him are family. Still, she said not all of them could go in, not at once at least. So following hospital policy, Lucas asks his brother and sister to come in with him. So he, Nathan and Haley dress in the gowns given to them by the nurse and follow her inside.
“Now she is still too little and too sick to be held outside the incubator,” the nurse explains as she leads them past other sick and premature newborns. “But you can put your hands inside and hold her hands if you’d like. And of course, talking to the little ones, we in the NICU have come to believe, helps them get better. So you can talk as much as you like, as long as you do it quietly and don’t disturb the other families.”
She stops at another incubator, where inside lay a tiny infant with dark brown hair, sleeping while the tube she’s connected to helps her breathe. Lucas, Nathan and Haley surround her. Lucas touches the clear box as he stares at his baby girl…so helpless and fighting for every breath her tiny little life wants.
“God…” Haley whispers as the tears return. Nathan squeezes her close to him as his eyes glisten too at the sight of his niece in such a helpless condition.
“She’s beautiful,” Lucas says, still staring at her. He looks at the nurse and asks, “Can I—“
“Of course,” the nurse says, opening the compartments where Lucas can put his arms.
Slowly, he sticks his hands and arms inside and he touches her tiny hand as the tears flow from his eyes.
“She looks so much like Brooke, doesn’t she?” He says, looking up at Nathan and Haley.
“Very…” Haley responds. “Very much like her.”
Lucas looks back down at his baby as the nurse asks, “Do you have a name picked out yet, Mr. Scott?”
He thinks about it as he stares at this little girl and holds her hand, a hand smaller than his thumb.
Naming her is something Brooke and I are supposed to do together. It’s a right of passage for Brooke. After carrying her and protecting her for so long, Brooke is supposed to have the final say in her name. I don’t want to do this without her…I don’t want to choose a name she wouldn’t like. “We know this is hard for you, Luke,” Nathan says, breaking the silence and interrupting his brother’s thoughts. “But she deserves a name. Maybe naming her now will help her get stronger. If we can call out her name when we talk to her, she’ll know she has people around who lover her and she’ll get stronger.”
Lucas nods and looks down at his daughter again, thinking about the best name for her, a strong name that Brooke would like too. The harder he thinks about a name, though, the more Brooke crosses his mind. Brooke is his everything. Since high school, it’s been all about Brooke for him. And staring at this little girl, all he can see is Brooke, his love…
his saving grace. And thinking about her, naturally he remembers the last thing she said to him in the ambulance.
“Have faith…” she told me.
Faith…and grace…my saving grace. She’s my saving grace…so faith must be hers.“Grace…” he finally answers while the others stare at him. He looks up at the nurse and states the rest of her name. “Gracelyn Faith Scott.”
The nurse nods and with a smile she says, “Gracelyn Faith Scott…that’s beautiful.”
Nathan and Haley agree as they come around to hug their brother.
OTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHTOHTOHTOTOHTOHTOHTOTOHTOHT
“How’s she doing?” Keith asks Nathan and Haley when they return to the waiting room after deciding to give Lucas some time alone with his daughter.
“Well,” Haley begins, glancing at Nathan. “She’s pretty much fighting for every breath right now. She’s beautiful, but she’s got a long road ahead of her.”
“Yeah, but with the name Lucas gave her,” Nathan continues. “I think she’s going to pull through just fine.”
“What did he name her?” Peyton wonders.
“Grace…” Haley answers with a smile. “Gracelyn Faith Scott.”
The others smile too and Keith says, “Oh yeah….she’s definitely going to be a strong little fighter.”
“Just like her mother,” Peyton says, thinking about Brooke again.
Everyone sits down again and after a few minutes, Nathan says to Haley, who’s sitting next to James, “I’m going to go call mom and see how the kids are doing.”
“Oh, I’ll come with you,” Haley says, leaning forward. “I want to talk to them and call my parents too. And James is hungry and so am I, so maybe we can go get some food after?”
“Sounds good to me,” James says with a smile.
“Me too,” Nathan agrees. “Let’s go.”
All three of them stand up and Haley takes Nathan’s hand and leans against him as they walk down the hall, heading for the payphones near the elevators. But as they’re walking, James shouts to them.
“Mom, Dad, look!”
They both look straight ahead as a little girl comes running for them.
“Mommy!” Katie shouts as she runs closer and closer and then finally leaps into Haley’s arms when Haley bends down to catch her.
“Mommy, I missed you!” Katie says sadly, but also happily.
“Oh, I missed you too, baby,” Haley says standing up again with her little girl in her arms.
Nathan and James meet Deb, Chloe and Henry half way down the hall.
“Mom, what—“
“I know, I know,” Deb interrupts, pushing Henry up higher on her hip. “You wanted to wait until you were all back in the U.S., but I couldn’t stand waiting anymore and neither could they.”
Nathan smiles and hugs his mother. He kisses her cheek before taking Henry from her and kissing him. Haley walks over to them, hand in hand with James and Katie. She’s smiling at Nathan, Henry and Deb, but she’s looking for Chloe. Then, she sees her at Deb’s side, staring at her and looking so scared.
“Oh Chloe…” she says softly with tears as she releases her children’s hands and kneels down to Chloe’s level.
She reaches out to hug her, but Chloe backs away and hides behind Nathan, her fear obvious by that action. Haley;s smile fades, as do the smile of the others.
“What’s the matter, baby?” Haley asks her daughter, so afraid that the time apart from her has erased her from Chloe’s memory.
Otherwise, why wouldn’t she be hugging me right now?Nathan passes Henry back to Deb and kneels down next to Haley and in front of Chloe and he says, “What’s wrong, honey? Why are you so afraid? It’s mommy…I know you remember her.”
“She does remember,” Katie says as she and her brother walk over to their sister.
“She just doesn’t think you’re real,” James adds, understanding exactly how his sister feels. He kneels down in front of her too and he says, “But she is real, Chloe. It’s really mom. The man who took her and Coop is never going to take them away again. She’s right here with us now.”
He points at Haley and finishes, “That’s her…really. And she’s not going anywhere.”
Chloe looks at Haley and slowly holds her hand out. Haley looks at it and she holds out her own too and folds it into Chloe’s hand.
“See, Chloe?” She speaks softly to her and touches her cheek with the back of her other hand. “Your mommy is right here now.”
Chloe stares at her a moment longer before jumping into her mother’s arms. Haley sighs relief and giggles as she holds her little girl close and stands up again.
“Hi Mommy…” Chloe says when she sits her head back up and looks at Haley.
“Hi baby,” Haley says, catching her breath. “I sure missed you, Peanut.”
“I missed you too.”
Chloe leans in and kisses Haley’s cheek while the rest of the family watches.
“Thanks, baby.”
“You welcome, Mommy. I love you.”
“I love you too, Chloe,” Haley says, hugging her daughter again.
As they are hugging, Nathan takes Henry back from his mother and they, Katie, and James come in for a group hug with Haley and Chloe…together finally.
OTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTOHOTHOTHOTHOHTOHOTHOTOHTOHTOHOTHOTHOTH
After seeing Grace and calling home to talk to his girls, Lucas has decided it’s finally time to go in and see Brooke. He enters her room and slowly makes his way over to her bed. He sighs as he sits down and like the others, he takes her hand in his before he talks.
“Hi beautiful,” he says as he kisses her hand.
“”I’m sorry it took me so long to come in and see you. I had to build up some strength first I guess. And I think going to see the baby help me do that. She is…so little and so beautiful. She looks exactly like you, Brooke. I just hope she has your fight in her too.
“I was in there with her for awhile and I just couldn’t let go of her little hands. It was like…while I was holding her hand, I was holding your too. And I really believe that I was…just like I believe you can hear me right now. And if you can, then you know how I’m feeling right now.”
Finally, Lucas gives up and lets the tears go.
“I’m so afraid I’m going to lose you, baby. I’m so afraid that you’re going to leave me and the kids behind and you can’t because I need you…and the girls need you too. I can’t do this alone and I can’t be without you, nor do I want to. You have changed my life in so many ways, Brooke, and all for the better. You’re my saving grace. So you have to come back to me.”
Staring at her beautiful face, Lucas remembers every moment with her. He remembers being with her and losing her because of his foolish choices. He remembers befriending her again and falling so in love with her…
“Talking to yourself?” He asked, standing in the doorway of his bedroom where she was sitting on his bed.
She was waiting for the cab that would take her to the airport, where she would get on a plane, headed for California, where she would stay for the entire summer.
“What, is your summer job driving a cab?” She asked him when she saw him.
He closed the door and as he walked inside a little farther he said, “I put your stuff in the car.”
“So I guess this is goodbye?”
He held out his arms for a hug. And she stood up and accepted a warm friendly hug. They held it for about thirty second. She smiled as they pulled away…until he kissed her.
“Tell me that wasn’t a goodbye kiss?” She said in reaction.
“I want to be with you, Brooke.”
She backed away from him in utter shock.
“What?”
“I’m sorry. I know we’re friends. It’s just how I feel.”
“But what about Peyton’s stuff?”
“I keep that stuff as a reminder of how badly I screwed up things…with you. To remind myself that if I ever get a second chance…I’d never let you go again.”
“I don’t know what to say, I, um…”
The cab outside honked and interrupted their discussion.
“I got to go,” Brooke saidm accepting that distraction as a way to avoid her feelings.
She walked to the door, but stopped at his voice, “Brooke…do you think you could ever—“
“Lucas…I’m sorry.” She opened the door. “I got to go. Bye.”
He watched her as she left him behind for three months without any indication of her feelings.“I told you I would never let you go again,” Lucas says to Brooke as he pets her head. “You were scared, but I promised I’d never hurt you again. I promised I’d always be there for you. I’m the guy for you, remember?”
“
I’m the guy for you,” he said at the summer beach party the night before they started their senior year at Tree Hill High. “I know we’re just part time and that’s cool. You can do whatever and have your fun. But one of these nights, you’re gonna realize it. I’m the guy for you, Brooke Davis. You’ll see.”“And you did see, didn’t you?” Lucas continues, speaking to her while she lay unconscious, running through memory after memory with her. “You were scared and you made some mistakes, but you realized that you wanted to be with me too.”
He opened the door when he heard the soft knock. Brooke was standing on the other side with a small brown box in her hands.
“There are 82 letters in here,” she said as she handed it to him. “And they’re all addressed to you.”
He looked down at the box curiously as Brooke continued.
“I wrote them all this summer. One a day, but I never sent them because I was afraid.”
“Brooke…”
“I was afraid of getting my heart broken again, like before. ‘Cause you hurt me so bad, and I was afraid to be vulnerable. And I was afraid of you and the way that you make me feel. And I know that doesn’t matter now after what I did, but I just thought that you should know. This is how I spent my summer, Luke…wanting you. I was just to scared to admit it.”
She turned and walked away from him. He wuickly put the box down and rushed out to stop her before she left.
“Brooke! I’m sorry. What you did with Chris, it’s okay.”
“It’s not. It can’t be. It’s too much to forgive.”
“Well, that’s too bad because I forgive you.”
“You can’t.”
“I just did. So you’re just going to have to deal with it. I’m the guy for you, Brooke Davis. And I know I hurt you the last time we were together, but…”
“I love you,” she interrupted him.
He smiled and said, “I love you too.”
He reached up and touched her face as he said, “Pretty girl.”
And at the same time, they went in for a kiss.“That was a really great reunion for us, Brooke, “ Lucas says to her. “But the best one would be now if you would just wake up. Wake up and tell me you love me again, Brooke, just like you did that night.”
He waits another minute, still stroking her head and soft hair. Then, he says, “I’ll be waiting for you to wake up. I’ll wait forever if I have too, but you have to wake up. I’ll never give up hope and I’ll always have faith, I promise. You can count on me forever.”
He leans up and kisses her lips before sitting down again. He sits with her four hours more, sharing more and more memories, hoping that they may help her find her way back to him. And just like he promised her, he will never give up on her. Never.